Let's Go On A Diet

 
Not a fad diet
though.
 
[Like the Atkins Diet]
 
It's really more of a
lifestyle change.
 
I think we should all go on

this new diet.

I've dubbed it 

The "Akins" Diet.
 

 

Instead of shedding
pounds

together we'll shed the world

of
one

 

 

at a time.

 

 Experts say it's
unwise & unhealthy
to lose more than
1-2 pounds losers/week
so this week
we'll just shed 2.
 
Starting with the namesake of this new lifestyle change.

 

#1.

The "Legitimate" Shed

 

[source]

 

Yep.
Todd
"I'm a Member of the Congressional House SCIENCE Committee
But Still Somehow Manage to Not Comprehend Basic Biology" 
Akin.

Let's get him voted out.

I have a suggestion for his new job.*

 

[ CRASH TEST DUMMY. ouch.]

 

Once

there was this

scuzzy politician

who

got into an accident
 
.
.
.
 

 

But no worries-

Mr. Akin.

 

I hear in "legitimate" crash tests

nobody dies.

 

************************************************************************

#2.

 Eat Less Chikin

 

 

 

 [source]

 

 

or

"BEEF" : It's What's For Dinner
or
Eat More Kale

 

 

Hey.
I'm not mad at the guy for asserting his first amendment rights.

[um. here i am. doing the same.]

I'm not even mad at people who love CFA's chicken sandwiches that continue to eat there.

[although i was never very fond of the food in the first place.]
I'm not mad at you if you make it a point to spend your hard earned dollars eating chicken
to support free speech.
[i'm more of the raise my own chickens and feed them to hungry people type of gal myself]

I am annoyed
however
 that people supported/are supporting the restaurant

in mass swarms

and doing so
supposedly

in the defense of

FREE SPEECH

when really

they just want to defend
the

POSITION OF DAN CATHY.
Let's call things what they are.
Chicken shit = chikin shit
(even if it also = bull.shit)

Just don't try to trick me, peeps.

[I'm looking at you Iowa GOP.  I'll pass on the CFA gift card.  Mmk? Thanks.]

 

Next time I want some chicken and pickles

I'll go somewhere else

or
somewhere else
[hah]
or

make my own.

 

 Dan Cathy-
you said you support
traditional  [legal] marriages.
 

With all your new stardom
I think you'd make a perfect officiant 
for celebrity weddings.
You know.
 the legitimate, sacred, and perfect ones.
 
Let's start here.*
 

[legal marriages rock!]

 

******************************************************

 

Hopefully we'll be able to shed a few more pounds losers soon.

Any nominations?

 

******************************************************

 
 

         *  It should be noted that this was written for comedic purposes and not as any real statement of threat or wish of harm upon either of these gentlemen men.   No one should have to suffer through an entire Avril/Nickelback wedding.