Thursday, January 26, 2012

We Don't Need No Education

Sometimes I can be such a know-it-all.
a know-absolutely-nothing.
Both have perks and advantages.
I get a chuckle out of kids
who think they know
but really only because they learned just a bit about something.
When children know just a bit about
they usually have no idea they're wrong
about believing they know
And that's when things get funny.

I was browsing the children's bike section at Target last weekend looking for a new helmet for Natalie who "absolutely loathes" her old Dora one.  As I was cruising through the aisles, I paused at and end cap just in time to overhear this gem of an exchange between a father and his two sons. {I'd guess ages at 9 and 12.)

Dad to one of his younger son:
Bud, take that bike and put it back on the rack. 
We've gotta get going or your mom is going to skin my hide. 

Awww. No fair....
 I don't want to!
(Continues to play with bike while dad and brother walk away)

Let's go, bud. Put that bike away.
Your brother and I will be waiting for you at the end of the aisle.

No way.
I still need to test it out.
(Goes to hop on bike.)

Not tonight...
 We still have plenty of time to look at more before your birthday.

(Whines a little while stomping as he puts the bike away.)
You aren't FAIR!!! 
You are violating my rights in the Proclamation of Independence!!!
 I know ALL about it from school, so THERE!

 (not realizing I'm now at the end of the aisle browsing the end cap and can hear him)
 What's that?
(laughing now that it sunk in what his kid said)
Bud, I think you meant the Constipation of the United States of America?

Boy's Older Brother:
(Knee slapping himself)
 No, dad. I think he meant the Farticles of Confederation!!!

(because I'm dying laughing inside and can't keep it in…)
 (Well it felt that loud anyways)

Dad, Son and Older Brother:
(all at the same time turn bright red) 

 (to me directly now)
What can I say??????..... MEN!!


Later that day
I also learned a valuable lesson
on "modern economics"
(as opposed to the ancient version of American economics I was taught.
You know...
back in the stone-age) 

(looking through her book order sheet from school)
Mom, I'm going to need you to  write a check for $50 for some books.
Don't worry. 
I'll pay you back.

Fifty bucks?.!
 That's a lot of books!
Where are you getting this money to "pay me back"?

The money I got from Christmas.

I thought you were saving it for something special....

Books ARE special!!

Why so many, though? 
Can't you just choose one that really stands out to you as being interesting
and then wait awhile before buying the next one? 
To make sure you haven't changed your mind about how you want to save or spend it?

Think about it, momma!
Eventually after a few more months of ordering one book at a time
which is what I'll want to do...
 I'll still end up going through all of my money to pay for them
by the end of the school year.
  It's not like I have a job. 
I can't earn MORE money until my birthday in JULY most likely
so I might as well buy a bunch of books now and get it over with
so you don't have to write a bazillion different checks. 
{now tearful}
PLUS, it's MY money, mom! 
I should be able to spend it like I want to. 
 I did the math and even with fifty dollars in books,
I will still have plenty of money left over to buy stuff from the school store
every Wednesday for the rest of the year! 
{frantic now because I'm still shaking my head "no"} 
You're so OLD now…
how can you possibly understand MODERN ECONOMICS?!


Something tells me I ought
to start strategizing hardcore about
how to deal with teenagers

Anyone have any tips on modern economics?

This post was brought to you by the letter C.
For Constitution. or Constipation. Whichever you prefer.


In hindsight, I really feel like I could have kicked the lunch up a notch
had I gone with {c}reamy corn, instead.


You don't want to mess with me in a game of Scattegories.


Julie Arts said...

Loved this post! That story about the dad and sons was so funny!
I love Isabel's love for books!

Lisa said...

Thanks for the chuckle!
I love things kids say...and when they think they know everything.
At least she doesn't wanna spend $50 on a video game or something!

rsstoney said...

Oh gosh, I laughed out loud! That was hilarious! Perhaps can granny buy some of those books for her so she can save her money? And I will challenge you to scattegories.

Judy said...

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Pam said...

That father-son conversation is too funny!

I loooooove Scattergories!

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